A Bonus Conversation for the Year 2011

Happy New Year...never too late...9 days of the Year 2011. May our Lord grant us happiness,joy,peace and all the blessings and graces to enable us to continue on this life's journey.

The bonus conversation for the year...is between my dad and myself. It was right after the contractor completed the installation of the laminated floor to my kitchen...

SRS: So I guess you are not coming back to Sarawak anymore?

I was stunned...shocked...speechless...and facing him I asked...

Me: Daddy...what do you mean?

SRS: Well...look at this place...its already a home. You have everything here...you made everything fit so nicely.

I wanted to cry listening to what my dad have said...

Me: Daddy...how can you say that? Of course I am still coming home to BINTULU...which is my home and I am still keeping that house in Bintulu. That is home to the children and myself...its just that for now I need to get away from there...away from those memories. This one will be our 2nd home and I need to make it "homely" otherwise I will never get to settle down here...and its a gift to my two girls...a place they can called another home which is away from Bintulu...

SRS: Ok...and he turned away...

That conversation remains and lingers in my mind till today...and daddy has been calling me everyday since he went home last Friday...

15th December,2010...a year today.

Here we are today...a year since the much loved Pink Panther left us. Its been a year and we are still mourning for you dear...there are times that memories floods in and so do the tears...

The girls are doing great...stronger than me actually...I am very proud of them...Charraine is already starting to apply her "legal skills" with me now and then and your Banoon girl just turned 16 of aged last week and it was the most saddest affair for me...the month of december is no longer a beautiful month for us...where we used to plan for our year end holidays,setting up the xmas tree and the surprised presents and your endless happy hours...its our 1st Christmas without you...we love you and missed you so much. We pray God will grant you eternal rest and let perpetual light shine upon you and may you rest in peace....

A Breakthrough.....

Triumph....

So today is history? May be...just may be...get up and move on Judy...that's the message for me. It will not mean that I am going to forget of your passing Pink Panther but it is because of what you meant to me that I am moving on and doing something close to my heart. I am so glad to have people who meant nothing to me in the past but at this very moment I give my praises and thanks to GOD for sending them to me. I pray that YOU O LORD bless them ever more today and everyday. It was a moment of truth,revelation and an awakening point for me. Lord...I pray for your continuous guidance and for your light to shine upon me as I take this particular path. Amen.

Saying our final goodbyes to Brother Dennis Jau...

Our dearest brother Dennis Jau was called home by our Lord on the 18th September, 2010 after fighting and wrestling with colon cancer...another attacked of cancer among us. He left behind 5 children and a very loving & patient wife...our sister Lucy.

I knew him when we were in KTDTHB, Miri....such a humble,quiet and jovial person.

We met up again in Bintulu...we were reunited when we join the english cell group.

The last fellowship that we had was at our sister Dorothy & Alex Ali's house sometime in June...to celebrate Gawai and also Father's day....

From the photos we can see how healthy and fit he was at that time...

We can only planned but God's hand is on the mighty button which will determined when our time on earth will expire...

Are we ready when that time comes?

One thing I know for sure...our brother Dennis was ready.

Lord,

Our creator and to whom we all have to go home to...

My mind gets so silly at times...when YOU called us home

One by one...

Watching our loved ones and friends left this cruel and temporary place

Its just like...

Me asking...

When will it be my time to go Lord?

Can I come now please?

Please...lead the way for me....

Then the answer...

Not yet...

There's still so much to do...

That's for each and one of us I believe...

Work for him...his plans...his will

Then...

May be...just may be

our Time will come sooner...

For the time being...lets continue to praise God and serve him..

Lord,

May you take and lead our Brother Dennis home

To that kingdom of yours and the promised of life eternal

Grant O Lord

Eternal rest upon him

Let your perpetual light shine upon him

And may he rest in Peace.

Amen.

Enrique Iglesias- Hero (with lyrics)

" Till death do us part ...."

Last night I was sharing with my daughter about the loss of our dearest beloved Pink Panther...telling her how I always imagined that he is always with me..he is my imaginary companion now Charen. His belongings and photos that I kept on purpose so that I will see and feel his presence everywhere...I need all that to strengthened me so that I will not feel so ALONE and abandoned...

Anyway the message that I want to share on this blog is what my daughter said...so there is no "till death do us part kan mummy". Nya...nama utai munyi nya?

Indeed I agree with you Charen. For mummy and daddy there is definitely a big "NO" to "till death do us part"...it some how has lead mummy grew closer to Pink Panther daily and it always refreshed my mind about the good old days...

Dear Lord...today and everyday I will continue to lift up the soul of Simon Sudin for his daily cleansing and purifications and that LORD will grant him eternal rest and his soul rest in peace.

Amen.

August....2010

Its been a long time...since I last share my thoughts here...June 24th....and now its August...2010 so unbelievable.

Last year around this time is where our journey began where it ends in such a tragic manner. Pink Panther...not a day goes by me that I am not thinking of you. The memories still remains within me. You are every where...at times I can feel your presence near me and thats when the "niagara fall" is at work...luv and miss you so much...