WITHOUT YOU

Dear Dadi

February is gone and March comes marching in and its been a month now since I made that big move to come and live in this KL city. I know its what you want and desire before you leave us on that day. If only God can warn us of your leaving...may be I can bring you to all those places that you want so much to see and visits...my heart aches so much because I failed you.

WITHOUT YOU

Stacey, aged 42, Minnesota....shares from the book "What the Bible says about Grieving"...I sat numbly at my husband's graveside and wished for the pain to go away. I wanted so badly to share the heartache with my best friend. But that friend now lay lifeless, unable to listen or respond to the pain his death had caused me. He had left this life without a final goodbye, and I just wasn't ready to part ways. I had much more to tell him, and we had much more life to share. In the days to come, it meant so much to have other people around. And while they couldn't take away the pain, it was nice to have people nearby even if they were only able to listen,hug, and cry along with me...

This all sounds too familiar and it reflects me all the way...not only that I cannot reached out to you dearest Pink Panther...I can't see,touch,hear and smell you....all that is taken prematurely away from me. As I reflect on our meeting it is really God's plan...I met you in the early 1980's when I left for my further studies and you were already working in Bintulu and when I came back home you are still in Bintulu...the most available bachelor around they said...but I was not interested in the package that I saw...but hopelessly and helplessly I could not run far...it ended with the "I do..I do" ceremony at Saint Anthony Church Bintulu. I always shared this with the girls and reminded them to go and explore...not to be complacent and most of all not to be tied down because I believe that God has made and created plans for us way beyond our knowledge and that includes our life time partners...no matter what and where we go...if that chosen person's name is already written in HIS little book...we will meet up again. That's what happen to us Pink Panther...and I comforted myself in believing that you have to go soon because I know you will be there when its my time to come home...ciao...

WITHOUT YOU

Its Ash Wednesday, meaning its Lenten season. It seems so soon...with Saint Valentine's day and the spirit of CNY which is still hovering in the air. ...Dadi...Valentine day just passed me by...quietly without you. But then as you loved to answer me whenever I wished you..."not everyday a valentine day kah...". The memories of last valentine's lingers on...there is just no way to reach out to you now. There's never a moment or a day that passes me by that is not filled with the lovely thoughts of you. May be I should pray to God for signs to let me know that you are near me when I need you most to console and comfort me in my times of misery. You are so free from all this pain,heartaches and sufferings. How I envy you so much for being taken away from all this because to me God favours you so much...

Ponggal Celebration At The Church Of Divine Mercy, Shah Alam

We shared the joy of our fellow tamil brothers & sisters in Christ last sunday, the richness of thier culture...Ponggal Feast which was celebrated in the Church of Divine Mercy last Sunday, the Mass was in Tamil ...a mass of thanksgivings and appreciations of their harvests. This was our 2nd mass experience there...such a beautiful church.
I have always wanted to visit this church and I give my thanks to God for bringing and directing me here...1st of all...we found a condominium in USJ Subang which is not too far away from Sapura Smart School and the church is just 15 minutes away....Thank you Lord.
So do I want to move away from this next year...it remains to be seen...Lord continue to show and direct me...Amen.

My BibleWalk...

My encounter with our LORD's living words...

On the 2nd February, 2010

Psalm 27
Verse 1

The Lord is my light and my salvation
So why should I be afraid?
The Lord protects me from danger
So why should I tremble?

Verse 5

For HE will conceal me there when troubles come
HE will hide me in his sanctuary.
HE will place me out of reach on a high rock.

On 4th February, 2010

Verse 11

Teach me how to live, O Lord
Lead me along the path of honesty
for my enemies are waiting for me to fall

Verse 13

Yet I am confident that I will see the Lord's goodness
while I am here in the land of the living

Verse 14

Wait patiently for the Lord
Be brave and courageous
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord..

Praise be Jesus's name...Amen

Surat Penudi Nuju Nuan...

..

The original piece of this "Last letter to Dadi" was written in English by me and the Iban version was translated by NagaMit @ Aunty Doris and Indai Dom...thank you so much for being crazy and sentimental together with me. Nagamit read it beautifully...nyabak nuan sulu...minta ampun...nyau enda bajik mua nya neh...maya malam penudi bala kami ngintu niang 18th December, 2009.
Minta ampun nyema tusun jaku engau leka iya enda betul...
Tu munyi iya...

Sulu ti ku sayau,
Pink Panther aku
Nyau baka ribut nuan datai nanya aku suba
Tang maya nuan pegi ninggal ke aku, enda berasai...
baka angin lemai ari
Nuan madah anang nyabak
Di saut aku..auk meh sulu
Taja pia...aku dah ngasa ke ati nuan
Ukai di enda nemu
Nadai pengelantang enggau penyamai beserara enggau pangan diri...
Lebih agi enggau orang ti di kesayau...

Sulu ...
Maya aki ninggal ke kitai suba, nuan meh pengering aku
Tang sapa meh nyadi pengering aku diatu, lebuh nuan ngejang ninggal ke aku enggau bala anak

Nuan ngajar aku jalai ngidup kediri, diau dalam pengerindu nitih ke gaya diri empu, mesti kering serta nemu
ngatur pendiau diri lalu nemu mela bala anak tua
Nuan selalu ngajar enggau ngelalau aku dalam semua utai
Lalu aku deka ngenggam jaku nuan nya sampai aku mati

Sulu tiap kali ku meda mata ari padam iya deka ngingat ke aku ke nuan
Ingat aku Sulu...maya nuan ngasuh aku madah ke pengerindu aku ka nuan maya tua berubat ba Normah Hospital, Kuching
Ko nuan...aku ka ninga nuan nyebut nuan sayau ke aku

Tu meh iya...semampai rindu ke nuan
Nya meh pengidup aku, bekejang ari diatu sampai aku betemu enggau nuan baru ila..

Aku deka nampung pengawa nuan
Ti selalu nulung orang ti seranta
Aku deka ngiring bala anak tua
Nitih ke niat enggau juluk ati nuan
Aku seruran deka nitih ke semua jaku, pengawa,penemu nuan dalam pengidup
Nya meh sulu..
Pink Panther aku
Belabuh ari diatu
Tua deka diau dalam dunia,jam enggau adan ti enda sebaka, enda begulai
Tang pengerindu aku tetap meruan baka mula tua ke baru nanggam pengerindu suba
Aku besemaia deka mela anak tua sulu enggau pengabis ati ku, awak ke sidak iya semampai kering,mujur baka pengidup nuan empu...

Sulu
Enda ku nemu nusun ke leka jaku sebana ati aku...
Tang nuan ngelala aku, nemu sapa aku...nyangka nya kebuah nuan ninggal ke aku dulu enggau semua utai tu
Ingat nuan sulu lebuh tua ke betundi enggau panggan diri...sapa entara tua ti tau dulu pegi...
Aku selalu madah ka juluk ati ngagai Allah Taala ngambi aku dulu pegi ari nuan
Laban aku nemu aku enda ulih nerima semua tu, nyema aku dudi ari nuan
Tang nuan selalu ngelaban jaku aku...
Nuan madah aku tetap ulih...
Auk meh sulu...
Munyi ko jaku nuan nya meh
Tetap kering enggau besemangat ketegal anak tua ke di tinggal nuan pegi

Aku meri terima kasih ke nuan ti udah ngiring,nyukung serta meransang aku dalam semua utai
Dalam pengidup tua ti dah begulai enggau pangan diri, pengawa aku ngelama tu
Nuan meri aku penemu,ngelalau aku ngambi ke semua utai tau mujur
Nuan selalu muji pengawa aku
Nuan seruran mesan aku ngerja semua pengawa engau pengerindu serta enggau pengabis ati..

Tang diatu nama meh penyadi aku diatu
Nuan nadai agi begulai sejalai enggau aku
Pengasai aku diatu nyau baka layang-layang putus tali
Nyau nadai penuju

Sulu enggau tu pemeri aku ke nuan semina nyaup nuan pulai
Nuju jalai ti meruan
Pulai asuh Allah Taala enggau penuh pengerindu nuju Ia
Terima kasih ke penyerah nuan
Terima kasih ke nuan ti ngemendar ke Tuhan Jesus merintah dalam ati nuan
Terima kasih ke nuan ti udah nyerah ke diri ngagai Indai Maria
Terima kasih ke nuan laban nuan udah ngemaruh ke diri lala semampai sayau nyentuk nuan mejam ke mata
Terima kasih ke nuan ti ngasi ke jaku Allah Taala lalu nerima peneka iya
Ketegal tu, nuan nyadi ke tugu dalam pengarap aku
Terima kasih ke lima bulan ti udah lalu ti penuh enggau pengerindu enggau pengingat ti cukup menyana
Aku nadai ngasai ke pemerinsa sereta pemedis maia ngintu enggau ngibun nuan
Aku semina ngasai ke diri likun lalu di intu enggau mentas...semua tu ari kuasa Allah Taala.
Nya meh ke tanda enggau pengerindu IYA ke kitai...
Terima kasih ke kaban blayan ke udah di beri sereta di anjung nuan, sidak tu meh malaikat nuan
Malaikat nuan ti deka ngintu serta ngemata ka kami menyanak
Terima kasih ke Hari Valentine ti penudi iya sereta pemeri nuan
Nuan udah mayuh kiruh enggau pengambis ati ngerami pengawa nya begulai enggau kaban bukai

Pengerindu aku tetap meruan belama
Baka nuan ti udah sayau ke aku sekumbang tua ke begulai
Nganti meh penatai aku ila sulu
Aku besampi nuan nyedia ke endur ke kitai menyanak di menua syurga
Lalu ngemata ke kami
Tu meh nyadi pengering kami

Bye Dadi,
Sulu Ati Aku,
Pink Panther Aku
Tu ukai pemarai ti nyerara tua sulu
Semina awak ti udah cukup nuan pulai dulu
Lalu ukai penembu pengawa
Kami seruran lelengau ke nuan dalam semua pengawa
Nuan meh mata ari tumbuh
Nuan meh mata ari padam dalam pengidup aku kenyau ari diatu
Sampai seput aku padam ila

Love you
Judy

Heart to Heart

As I drove BB Yon to School this morning...

Mami: Are you happy Yon?
Yon: Yes.
Mami: Do you like your school?
Yon: Yes.
Mami: Do you like being here?
Yon: Yes.

Now...the bonus question...

Mami: Will you still be happy if mami is not happy being here?
Yon: No mami... but you will get use to the place.

Tear drops time....and conversation ends here...period.

My Inspiration for today - Prayer for Peace (Pope John Paul II)

To the creator of nature and human persons, of truth and beauty I pray:

Hear my voice,
For it is the voice of the victims of all wars and violence among individuals and nations;

Hear my voice,
For it is the voice of all children who suffer and will suffer when people put their faith in weapons and war;

Hear my voice,
When I beg you to instill into the hearts of all human beings the wisdom of peace, the strength of justice and the joy of fellowship;

Hear my voice,
And grant insight and strength so that we may always respond to hatred with love, to injustice with total dedication to justice,
to need with the sharing of self, to war with peace.

O God, hear my voice and grant unto the world your everlasting peace.

Amen

WITHOUT YOU

Hey you Pink Panther...done any golfing lately in the paradise that you are dwelling in? So today is the 2nd morning that BB Yon attends school. She came home yesterday full with excitement and memories flashes back to the time when she used to scream and called out to us to share her "happenings". Gone are those days and now its just me. I know friends are advising me not to communicate directly with you and to let you go but how can I do that? Every moment and seconds that I live is to carry on your legacy and that is for the 2 angels that you left behind.

So Dadi I pray and hope that this is really what you want for the girls and that we will make it through even though you are not here with us. Amen