WITHOUT YOU...

Coping with the sudden departure of a dearest loved one is a challenge...a huge one indeed. If we said that we are prepared for it...I really wonder how true can that be because by each passing day we go through a different episode of emotions...from sadness,grief,loneliness,emptiness...my head spins just thinking about it. Oh dear Good merciful Lord...sometimes I want to ******* for taking Pink Panther away from me. In the first place why do you have to give him to me....whyyyyyyy? I try to console myself now and then because I am just tired of feeling this way...macam mau explode saja....ayerrrr...take this feelings away pleaseeeee...I want to come home and expect to see you sitting in our living room...you watching your endless golf programs...and for me to call for the girls to make your coffee...I want to run around for you...to do your chores...I want to collect and do your "after golf laundry"...I want to cook and prepare your favourite food...I want to drive you around to all your favourite coffee shops for your kampua...I want to listen to your endless scoldings...correcting and reminding me of my faults and mistakes...I want to hear you to remind me to drive on the left handside of the road for driving so slow and telling me to walk instead...I want to hear you nagging me about forever messing up the newspaper after reading it...I missed calling you...hey uglyman...whatcha doin? The reply I get will be you calling me "stupid woman"...I feel like dying too you know...I don't like this feeling at all..life is so unfair...